Phew! What a week! I’m back at work. And it feels strange (and lovely) to be back at work as a mum. Fortunately for me (and the little man) I’m only working a three-day week and the days aren’t too long. He’s also being minded by my mum which helps big time, especially when he’s only four and a half months old. I’ll be honest, it does feel far too early to be back but unfortunately the way my job works means that I couldn’t really go back any later if I wanted work to go back to. But I’m finished by 2.30pm every day which does make things a lot easier.
The mornings are different now. As I think I’ve mentioned before, I was always someone who would stay in bed as late as possible. If it was a choice between an ten extra minutes in bed or putting on some make up the bed would always win (to be honest I’ve never been great at putting on make up anyway, the first time I ever used blusher I looked like I’d been sunburnt!)! I have to bring quite a lot of resources with me to work, in the past I would always organize them at the last minute in the morning. How things have changed!
I’m now up at least two hours before we have to leave. My bags are packed the night before. I’m choosing to put make up on to hide the tired new mum face! And where I would once let my job consume me (which to be honest isn’t healthy anyway, a job is a job) I now can’t. I do it to the best of my ability but then I have to leave it to one side when I’m finished as I have a far more important job at home.
A big part of me would have loved to have been a stay-at-home mum, at least for the first year, but we simply can’t afford it. I think it’s so sad that what used to be the norm years ago is now a luxury. I’m all for equal rights and think it’s great that we, as women, have come so far (with further to go), but I also think it’s sad that, very few women have the choice to be a full-time mum if they want to be. Naturally there are also mums who are quite happy to get back to work and that’s fine too, we’re all different and know what is going to work best for our families, it’s just a shame that the choice has been taken away from so many.
Now people keep telling me that going back to work will be good for my head, and maybe it is. I have one of those jobs that, when I’m there, makes it very hard to think of anything else. And my little man has been with me pretty much 24/7 since he was born, obviously not unusual, but maybe it’s good for him to have some space from me too. Of course I keep telling myself these things to convince myself that the decision I had no choice to make is a good one!
But, however I feel, it’s the decision I have to go with for now and one that I have to be positive about and make the most of. It also means that I really appreciate all my time with my little man and, oh my goodness, those smiles when I get home at the end of the day make it all worth it!